Being Who We Are.....Feels Good

Ankita was standing in front of the mirror and checking her dress and make-up, was it OK or did she looked overdressed and decked-up. She was not used to of applying make-up and putting on shimmery or lacy cloths, but her mother had forced her to wear that red suit with a shimmer dupatta with golden lace. Her mother also gave her own gold danglers to Ankita to wear today as it was an important day for her. The Ladkawalas were coming to see her and she had to look her best or even "better than she actually was," as her mother believed. 

It wasn't that her mother did not find her beautiful enough but as per her own perceptions and experiences and the society that she live in, a dark complexioned girl with a short height was not considered good enough to be chosen by any "eligible"  groom without much considerations. It was this that made Ankita's mother worry a lot as she feared the worst for her daughter....like many other women with daughters in our society still believe....that their daughters  won't find a good husband on "time" if they are not tall, fair and extremely beautiful.


Ankita was neither happy nor nervous today as she had got used to such sessions of meeting the groom-side, getting rejected for stupid reasons. And she was also somewhere aware that this meeting is also going to end in the same manner. She knew in her heart that all the prospective grooms and their parents are always in search of good-looking girl who would add some more charm to their charming looking family. 


She felt frustrated and angry...not with herself but with the hypocrisy of the society she and her parents and all the groom-side were living in. She wondered what kind of a progressive and educated society is this that still choose a life-partner more on the basis of physical appearance and less on their compatibility in education, likes and dislikes and ideology!
 As she was lost in these thoughts her mother knocked the door and said...."Ankita get ready fast....they have come. You have to get the snacks when I call you." 


"Ok Ma...I know that. I have done this so many times!" Ankita replied with a frown.
And soon her mother called her from the drawing room...Ankita was just too upset at the stupidity of this whole meeting that she didn't go out. Her mother called her again and still she did not want to move....she knew it was causing some embarrassment to her mother and that made her even more uncomfortable and upset. 

She heard her mother saying to the guests..."I think she is feeling shy to come on her own...I will go and get her."
Ankita felt like running away from the house as she heard her mother approaching her room.


Her mother stepped in and before she could say anything Ankita said in an irritated manner..."Ma I don't want to meet anyone....please ask them to go."


"But Ankita...they have come to see you....how can I ask them to go now...Why can't you meet them?" Said her mother,


"Ma I know what they are going to say...and I can't let this happen to me again and again...and this is not important for me at all." Ankita took her mothers hand in her own and said..." I just need your support and love in life Ma....marriage is not important for me."


Her mother now got a little angry and she said in a stern voice..."But getting you married off is important for me.........now stop this nonsense and come with me."


Ankita new that it was not easy to convince her mother....and that too at this delicate situation...so she decided to go with her but with a decision in her heart."

As Ankita entered the drawing room with her mother...holding the snack tray in her hand....everybody looked amazed and puzzled.

Ankita was not wearing that red suit or the jewelry that her mother gave. There was no make-up on her face and she looked exactly how she actually was. Simple looks, intelligent eyes and a strong personality. She didn't care about the outcome of this meeting, whether the boy will like her or not and it didn't even matter to her anymore......because she now knew what she wanted to be and whom she wanted to be with. 

So whether she was like what others wanted her to be and whether others wanted to be with her or not was none of her concerns anymore. She felt good and happy being and looking who she actually was.




Edited to add:

This post is a Tangy Tuesday Pick on Blogadda

Traditional Knowledge that Continues

I remember the day you were born, my little bundle of joy...so small and delicate that I was afraid to even hold you in my arms. You were tiny really tiny and they called you premature....it gave me some worries with the  joy you had brought. I was overjoyed to have you in my life....my first baby...my first dream that truly came alive....a baby girl in my two palms joined together.

Yes you were small and delicate and weak too and I was inexperienced, immature, afraid and confused too.
What, how, and when were all the words that started my conversations then, as you were there with your sweet little face so carelessly asleep by my side.....too sure of your mother who wasn't sure herself.

Sometimes you cried and I checked your bottom...but it was clean and dry... and then I knew not why? I wrapped you in a blanket and kept you close to my bosom...but it seemed not to comfort you and that was worrisome. How could I know...for I had not seen or held or taken care of someone like you before...there was so much to do and had to learn even more.

But lucky I was to have with me a treasure of traditional knowledge in my family tree. They shared their knowledge with me many a times, at times when you just needed a good massage rather than some medicine. I saw you smiling after those heartbreaking cries...when a colic was treated not with any synthetic product but a home-made recipe known from ages.

    

With all such people around me...sharing their traditional knowledge I became more of myself...more natural and made myself your mother in true senses. Now I try to learn more of that wisdom and would like to share them with you when you need to know them.

For the tree need to grow and strengthen its roots and grow more new trees from its shoots. The tree must grow bigger to give more fruits...more shadow to those who need it under the harsh sun.



This post is my entry to the Traditional Knowledge, Natural Growth contest in association with indiblogger.com

That's Life!

We see tomorrow grow in front of our eyes
And  yet we know little about tomorrow
It is the most beloved thing we possess today
and yet tomorrow is unknown

Today we give all our wisdom to our tomorrow
Today we nurture it with all the love in our heart
And know not how tomorrow will treat us
We just pray and hope that it will love us too

Today is important and tomorrow inevitable                        
One is now and here and then gone forever,
The other, always there tempting us with its newness
So we struggle and toil to make it better

Work hard, learn, teach and mold the tomorrow
Today its raw, and needs to be shaped
Shape it and give it a fine and unique identity
For it will also contribute to make a new tomorrow

And They Found Their Day of Love...

Disha was busy tidying up the house after Varun left for work early in the morning. It was a cold winter morning and the sun showed up a little late than usual. Disha wanted to finish her work quickly and go out in the sun and read a little, as it was the most relaxing activity for her.

She loved to read as it always took her to her own dreamland where she would be the happiest person on the earth and where everything was perfect….just perfect. There she had a loving family, a beautiful house, a lifestyle full of interesting activities and lots of sunshine.

After her marriage with Varun, which was arranged by their parents, Disha expected the same life as was always in her dreams. And she was happy finding and experiencing the little joys of married life that she had just started with Varun a few months ago.

Varun was a good looking, confident and a talkative guy…while Disha was a shy, soft-spoken and a down-to-earth girl whose expectations from life were as simple as she herself. They were quite different from each other but they enjoyed each other’s company. There was at least one thing common between them….they both enjoyed reading.

After completing her work Disha thought it would be a good idea to go through Varun’s collection of books. There were more of inspirational, educational and non-fictional books which were not much to the taste of Disha, who liked more of fiction and romantic books. Suddenly she saw something she did not expect as per Varun’s nature…..a slambook!! It was a simple diary from Varuns’ college days where all his friends had written something about Varun, giving a glimpse on his personality and his bonding with them. It was surely interesting for Disha as it gave her a great chance to know some more about her husband. With a smile on her face she started reading. The first friend said that Varun was always ready to help those in need and had a heart of gold… Disha felt proud reading it, she turned the page and there was another scribbling saying “Varun is very intelligent and whenever I had problems in studies I come to him for help…I am glad to have a friend in him.” Reading many such praising and complementing comments Disha got really involved in reading the slam book and she read each comment carefully and repeatedly to feel the joy again and again.

There were many scribbling from both Varun’s male and female friends. All the comments signed by a female made Disha more curious as she could clearly see through their comments that some of these girls were quite impressed and attracted by Varun. As she turned the page now and started reading Disha knew that this girl surely had some feelings for Varun and as she reached the end of the page her smile faded, hear heart started beating fast and she felt a rush of blood in her body. Her eyes were stuck at the last three words written right above the signature…. “I LOVE YOU.”

Who is this girl? What was her relation with Varun? How close were they? Did Varun hide something from her? All these and many such questions were driving her crazy and her heart was burning with anger and grief. She felt betrayed and cheated. She could not control her emotions and started crying. She cried and cried for some time and then she stopped. She stopped and thought….why was she crying?? What is it that’s causing her so much pain? Varun did not cheat hear…after all that slam book was one of Varun’s college day when Disha did not even exist in his life. And it was just a comment by a female friend and it did not prove that Varun too had the same feelings for that girl. And even if he did…it is all past now. Ever since their marriage Disha has felt Varun’s love for her and he has been so devoted and caring.  Disha was not crying and did not feel angry anymore but she was more amused at her sudden and stupid reaction to those words written in the slam book. She now was feeling absurd and could not understand exactly what made her cry so much? As she was lost in her thoughts, the doorbell ranged. In a hurried manner she wiped her tears and looked at the clock….it was 6 in the evening Varun had come back from work. Disha tried to look composed and normal as she opened the door.

Varun greeted her with a smile and expected the same from Disha, but she could not hide her feelings at that moment and rushed to the kitchen mumbling “I’ll get you some tea.” Varun could sense the tension in her voice but he thought it better to wait for some time before asking anything, so he went to their bedroom and turned on the TV as was his habit. He sat there surfing the channels and as Disha came with a cup of tea and handed it to Varun, he asked her…

“Are you OK?”

“Yes.” She said trying to hide the tears in her eyes and picked up the slam book to put it inside the cupboard.

Varun noticed and took it from her hand. As he gave it a glance and read that page he sensed what exactly was bothering Disha. He looked into her eyes and Disha asked him just one question…. “Do you Love me?” Varun felt some pain at this question and could not bear to see Disha’s wet eyes. He could not see her like that…doubting his love for her and feeling detached from him. He felt bad that something from his past life has hurt Disha so much that she was feeling miserable and crying. He just tore that page from the slam book, he threw the whole slam book on the floor and hugged Disha tight…he then kissed her forehead and said…. “It’s you whom I have ever loved.”

Disha started sobbing and stayed clinging to Varun for a long time. They both cried a little then sobered. They looked into each other’s eyes and new that their love for each other was much more than they had till now believed. They realized that they could not think of a life without each other now. They realised that the feeling of losing each other or even the thought of it was unbearable for them.

As they were getting calm, comfortable and happy in each other’s arm their attention was caught by the loud sound of TV as the program running went into an ad break. As they gave a glance to the TV they could not stop watching the ad that was being aired. It as an advertisement of the precious platinum love bands which told the story of a couple who got a little lost in the crowd on a tube train platform…getting worried for a moment and then feeling relieved and happy to find each other again.

        

                                                                                                    

Varun and Disha too felt exactly the same in their hearts. For a moment Disha also believed that she had lost Varun and then she found him again when he said “It’s you whom I have ever loved.” They could relate this moment that they were sharing to the idea of finding their day of love. As the precious platinum defines the day, it was a milestone in their life where they discovered the true depth of their feelings for each other. A love which is precious and everlasting… a love that promises to stay with you for a lifetime just like the white platinum jewellery. As the Ad finished they looked at each other and laughed. They were truly happy and their trust in each other had grown stronger and deeper.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                

All images are taken from http://www.preciousplatinum.in

This post is my entry to the Platinum Day of Love contest in association with Indiblogger.

Words

Some spoken loudly

Some in whispers and some in pure gestures

Some clearly conveyed 

Some kept secret to save you the trouble

I said a few and you heard fewer.....Words

They made me think

They made me believe in the world around me

They gave me wisdom

They gave me the courage to express myself  

My strength and my weakness too.....Words

We were different

We still are but now know each other better

We were unconnected

We now are one and bonded for life

For something brought us closer.....Words

I cry sometimes

I smile and I contemplate more often on them

I rarely misunderstand

I have a sweet romantic relationship with them 

Often read and seldom written..... Words.




Edited to add:



This post is a Tangy Tuesday Pick on Blogadda 

Wonders of the Nature

Why do the birds sing and why does the wind blow
I wonder what spirit they've got
To keep their pace going, oh...will I ever know

I see the trees growing and the river flow
The snow falling from nowhere
I see the sun rising and a thousand stars glow

The rain that makes a peacock crazy,
the singing of a cuckoo,
Or the summer breeze that make my limbs lazy,

Blooming of a marigold, a lily or a daisy
It all leaves me clueless
My heart intrigued and my mind hazy

Yes there are answers to all my quests
In the books of wisdom 
And in science where nothing is guessed 

They tell me the truth and make me blest
They show me the causes, 
Give reasons and blow my amazement with jest

But they tell me not why they happen at all
The cause of all causes 
The reason behind all reasons, big or small

They tell me not why the temperature fall
Causing the snow to form
Or the pressure that develop to bring the squall

So I don't look into the causes and the reasons,
I don't think too much 
And enjoy the wonders of the nature with no treason 

I smile with the rainbows and make a decision
Will not question anymore
The beauty of this world that engulf me in all season

Look....whom I am talking to!

This might sound a lot stupid but I have this weird habit of having mute conversations with all living and non-living things around me other than human beings. Err…to make myself clear ….what I mean to say is that I find myself talking to furniture, vegetables, insects and other such things that cause or become a reason of trouble for me. Like when my internet connection goes damn slow right when I have to do anything urgent and important, I would say…"Haan..Haan…abhi kyu chalenge aap computer mahashay…jab baby rhymes dikhana ho tab daudna superfast.” (Yeh..Yeh…why would you work now Mr. computer….you only run superfast when you have to play baby rhymes.”)

Or when I am in no mood to cook (which is quite often) and try making a quick recipe and it starts burning at the very first occasion of not being attended to, it gets on my nerves and I would go like this “lo…doob jao chullu bhar paani me…besharam” (Here…drown yourself in a handful of water…you shameless.) while adding just a little water which is needed anyway to save the recipe.

I know we all do some amount of internal talking when we really want say it on people’s face but refrain from doing so for lots of reasons, but my habit sometimes lands me in unexpected situations as I tend to complement my internal dialogs with some visible gestures or expressions. Coming up is one such incident that I can never forget.

As I have mentioned above that I am rarely in a mood to cook…it is basically because I don’t enjoy cooking and my otherwise a little creative mind just refuses to move its limbs when it comes to churning out ideas on what and how to cook. On one such day when I was left with a limited choice of vegetables in my fridge and was trying hard to come up with a lunch menu that everyone in the house could get down their throat, I picked up a Kaddu (pumpkin) and literally banged it (lightly) on my head and said (mutely of course) “Ab aap kaddu bhai jo mere matthe pade hain…apse kya pakaaun main?” (Now that I am stuck with you brother pumpkin….what should I cook out of you?) After a few minutes of intensive contemplating and brooding over the vegetables I went on to cook. I don’t remember if I talked to my recipes that day or not because the history was already made. Later that evening my respected Father-in-Law (FIL) came to me with a very grave expression on his face. He looked very uncomfortable and worried as if there was something that has been bothering him and yet he had no clue about it. So he put the question straight to me.

FIL: “Were you banging your head today?”  

Me: “Err…w..what..no”. The kaddu banging had slipped out of my mind

FIL: “Yes…you did…I Know…I saw it through a satellite reception.” That was his humorous attempt on the matter….just to make me feel better I guess.

Me: “But…I was not…” Now the lightening flashed and I knew what he was talking about

FIL: “Is there anything bothering you? Did you two had a fight?” referring to my husband.

Me: “No papa…its nothing like that…I was not banging my head…” I wanted to explain but my FIL interrupted me and started giving me all the “Gyaan” that he felt the need to give. This is a little flaw in my FIL personality that he just don’t have the patience to know or may be just don’t feel the need to see the other side of the coin and whatever is his own perception of things, becomes the truth…and the only truth. So he began counselling me about all the things he could think of as a probable cause of my head-banging.

FIL: “I know you have to do a lot…you are a new mother and must be finding it difficult to manage all the things at home with a little baby but this is life and we all are doing our roles…we are here to support you ..you can tell me if there is anything that’s bothering you. You are the pillar of this family (that’s his favourite adjective for me)..its because of your support that everything is on its place (I started another internal dialog and said to him…oh please papaji…I am happy being a woman…don’t make me a damn boring pillar!!)

All through his 15 or something minutes of “gurugyan” aimed at me I wanted to laugh out loud and tell him the truth…but I controlled myself as it would have given him a bigger shock and a much serious issue to deal with, to know that his “samajhdaar bahu” was actually talking to a kaddu.

So I just kept nodding my head in all seriousness and pleaded guilty in modest silence and tried my best to match the expressions of gravity on his face.